porsche

I don’t know why I am feeling this way

I thought I always wanted things my way

Now that I’ve all the time to my own, but I felt so alone

Everyone thinks that I’m ok…I can make it through

But the fact is, I’m dying inside. Who knows?

I find it hard to love, throwing stones at rebounding walls

Finding it silly to give. I gave out of love, but get back hurts

Am I who I think I’m, or am I really just another soul?

If I don’t have what I have, will anyone still look at me the same?

Why am I hugging myself alone? Is there not a soul, who would slow down and make me whole?

Where are those that swore to be there for me? Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I’m ok.

I was there when you needed some laughers

I was there when you needed some one to listen to

But why am I alone, when I needed you now?

I don’t know…yes I’m confused. I’m not ok…but who knows?

I’m not a saint…I smile…doesn’t mean I’m stronger than you.

By the time you call and asked if I’m ok…I will reply I’m ok.

Your concern would be useless…I have already solved it alone

Thank you so much for the so called love….when I’ve received none.

I truly believed…in this life. You just need to make sure there is one person whom would be there for you no matter what.

The rest are all just a waste of time.

Will you miss me when I’m gone? I really don’t know.

Must I be like those who always give some stupid retarded face to show the whole world that he/she is sad…to gave some sympathy concern?

You just don’t know me don’t you? Can’t you see it through my overly joy smiles that I’m crying inside?

It doesn’t pay to be nice…but still I will do it. Because this is who I’m

posted @ 3:41 AM

I wanna go to SCA!!! PLease pray for me... :)

posted @ 3:54 AM

PICTURES BELOW!!!!

Finally! I have some timeto blog! been busy after my exams...rushing from band prac to band prac lol! I was involved in playing for Camp Breakaway band and Jams Church Christmas Service. ALthough I was tired after practising for long hours but I'm very happy! Coz I m doing things that I'm passionate about everyday. For the first time, I m so busy during december haha. I m trying to summarize everything in a nut shell.

Firstly, Camp Breakaway. It's the best camp I've ever been to!!! It's not about the games or activities that gets me excited...but my beloved cell group members!!! haha..I enjoyed every moment with them!!!! leading them in cheers, planning how to win each game station and laughing together. It's something I will always remember! People always know me as quiet and won't speak up much when I'm in the crowd. But during Camp breakaway, I step out of my comfort zone and tired leading our team "Look Good" in cheer!!! hahaha First time doing it...wasnt very confident at first as I'm very image conscience. After leading them in a few rounds, I kind of enjoyed it. Alvin our Blue House leader overheard us cheering and thought it our cheer was good and asked me to lead the entire hosue in cheer!!!! I was fearful at first...didn't know what to do but when he asked me....I gong gong walk to the front hahaha. Started leading them in my famous cheer!!!

"Echo ooo Echooo out Loud, Long quan fong warrious on its way now"

It's a NS song which I've modified and use it as a cheer :P...it works anyway. All in all, I lead the blue house in cheer 3 times and once during the camp service!!!! Most of all!!! I've won the Loud hailer aware!!! AI SEI! Don't pray pray ah...hahaha I shocked all my cg members when I won the award hahaha. Now, i'm not afraid to lead or speak up in front a large crowd. It's a breakthrough for me and I m very happy over it. Finally! I've done it! Always wanted to lead people in cheer and stuff when I was in Secondary school...but I always withdraw and hide myself within the crowd..I'm so proud of myself!!! I feel this is saying is so true..the only one stopping you from achieving is yourself. So don't let fear stop you from achieving your dreams!!!!

Second thing about Camp Breakaway. I always wanted to play the guitar for my zone!!! FINALLY THE DAY HAD ARRIVED!!!!! I've this desire and had waited for 6 years!!!!!! O MY...6 years!!!! I'm so happy!!! Although it's a long time..but at least I made it there!!!....I wasnt very serious about guitar until 2years ago...should had started younger but its ok..at least I m on the right path now!!!! I spend 5 years in chc security ministry to learn the right attitude and servanthood. 1 year in Jams church to learning how to flow as a band. 2007 was that great for me...many ups and downs....but I think it's ending well at least. Able to stand up infront of about 200 people leading cheer...playing in the praise and worship band for camp breakaway...makes me feel..this year I've achieved a lot!

Jams Xmas Service!!!

It was awesome...the students were really excited and happy!. Second time playing in CHC JW main hall!!! It feels really good....because I've always wanted to play on our churhc stage! It came true!! twice this year!!!! I m so happy! I'm looking forward to serve more as a musician in church!!!! I just feel so in place when I m serving in music ministry....I just know that I'm at the right place and the right time whenever I play. Enjoyed every moment spend praising and worshiping together as a band =)

Lastly...I've joined the CHC Choir!!! haha...When I was in pri and sec..I will laugh at guys joinging the choir hahaha..to me back then...guys joining choir are so sissy hahaha..which is why i didnt join choir when I first came to CHC!!! hahaha...anyway, its over. I m in the choir ministry as well..wanna serve God with my voice =P(will strive to improve)....I thought I will be able to sing a lot in choir..since there are carol gigs...christmas service...BUT!!! I was been asked by the choir IC to be the guitarist for xmas carols!!!! LOL...so ya...this month I m playing guitar everyday!!! serving God with my talent almost everyday for the last 3 weeks!!! I m tired but happy!!! Cos i m using my talent to serve God!!!!

Introducing CHC JAMS CHURCH MAIN BAND

Keyboardist: Mingyan (the lady in purple scarf)

Keyboardist: Rhino(the lady in orange scarf)

Electric guitarist 1: Feng Heng (The boy in black scarf on the left) He played during camp breakaway too!!! haha...he's 17 and he's v skillful!

Electric guitarist 2: None other than me! =P

Acoustic guitarist: Terrance (the guy on my right)

Bassist: Zeng Min hahaha also known as the dancing bassist!!! most talked about person in the camp breakaway band....why? he move like a rocker when he play hahaha

Where's our drummer???? went missing and ke siao hahaha

Drummer: Collin 26 years old single and he's looking for a partner hahaha

More photos of me!!!

hahaha...I dont play like that for church service lol..that was just a post of me acting like I'm shredding hard

Me posting like I'm a drummer!!! wahahha

me on the Percussion!!!! Tian calls it mini drums!!!! LOL

I was smiling brightly to fit the percussionist image hahahaha

that's all for today!!! ROCK ON!!!

posted @ 2:05 AM

EXAM is this Fri 30/11 , 4/12, 6/12 and 7/12!!!! o my gosh..I m feeling the stress haha....hate exams. After that will be holidays till next year Mid Jan. Looking forward to that! =)

Wont be blogging much..need to study!

posted @ 7:47 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! 22 THIS YEAR!!!!

posted @ 3:48 AM

Hey, anyone know who's Masi Oka aka Hiro??? hahaha...he's the jap guy from heroes. I know I've been blogging about heroes a lot. I like this show what's wrong! Let me know if you guys find him cute/hot...lol

lol...don't think he's that kind hot guys people will take a second look. But after Heroes, man he became so popular!!! I was watching the Elle show, Elle asked him why is he driving a beat up Honda when the movie is doing well. He said he doesn't like the idea of showing off just because he is doing well now. He will change a new car when his old one break down. what a humble guy. He can beat box too haha..I was kind of shock...cos he looks so nerdy.

catch heroes here

http://prisonbreakonline.tk/

posted @ 3:39 AM

YEA!!! birthday is coming!!! 24th NOV!!!! This day should be made a public holiday hahaha...anyway, it's a sat. not too bad. I realize my bday wish list is so many entries down..so I think its a good thing to repost it again!!!

new converse shoes(size10), bugis voucher (i'm accumulating them), new guitar (no made in china please) give me a Gibson Les paul($3.5k) and I will love u for life, Don't mind a Taylor 314 CE or 514CE...getting tired of my takamine, need a new delay pedal, new hp!!! I havent return RJ his hp hahaha...I m contented with it. I Hardly do anything with my hp besides sms n calling, saw this hat I like at wisma topmen. It's a brown hat (chen hong was there with me haha can check with him if u are getting me gift) if u are unsure just get me the topmen voucher and I need a new bag!!!! No back pack please, no mambo(KS knows why) lol. Have a friend like me is so easy isn't it? I list down and plan everything nicely for you

lol...just kidding la. Seriously, with gifts or not life goes on. I just need my friends to remember its my birthday and text me or date me out will do. lol...so far I got one date on sat. Fri, my cg members are gonna switch off the light during fellowship and sing birthday song hahaha so predictable. I'm gonna shout what time you guys switching off lights right after cg announcement!!! wahahaha :P

Been quite busy with projects, brand practices, teaching guitar, watching movies and snacking around. btw...I m still maintaining at 58kg. I was 67 kg last month. Quite a happening month but not as happening as Jas, who got so many treats and it's not even her birthday!!!! lol....it's so good to be a pretty girl.

posted @ 2:39 AM

sigh...what can I do to proof I've changed?....

posted @ 2:42 PM

Anyway - Martina McBride

You can spend your whole life buildin
'Somethin' from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
When I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy and it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

You can pour your soul out singin'
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sangSing it anyway
Yeah sing it anyway

I sing, I dream, I love anyway

Came across this song by Martina McBride....it's a meaningful song. I like the lyrics a lot...nice song :)

posted @ 3:40 AM